


Alone

by zombiedragon



Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Angst, Blood, Depression, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 07:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14468154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiedragon/pseuds/zombiedragon
Summary: He can't stand being alone anymore.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story fully done.

Red. What a beautiful color. Red. It's all he can see. His half-lift eyes stare at the beautifully fresh cut on his damaged right arm. A smile hasn't left his face since he started the cut. It's the only thing that makes him feel anything. Happiness left a long time ago. Anger left when he discovered the new pleasure. The only other feeling he still feels is loneliness. The cutting makes the loneliness go away. Though it isn't enough, he still feels hollow, worthless and a waste of space. No one wants him, why would they, he is nothing. No one notice that he was wearing long sleeve shirt in the summer. Of course no one notice that he was eating less. Why would they, none of them were close to him. Even though they live together, they don't feel like family. No one bothers to get to know him since he arrives.

In the beginning, he was angry. Not knowing what to do with it, he turns to drinking. Drinking becomes his go outlet. Not understanding why they leave him alone or uneasy around him. He changes his jokes to be funny and showed interest in what they liked. They seemed happy about that. It made no dent in them getting to know him better. Soon the anger felt hollow. Drinking under this new emotion, instead of punching a wall, he wanted to bury himself.

In his room, he went over to his nightstand and glitches inside the snowy mountain electric snow globe. It almost looks real. He walks over to the edge of the mountain and sits down, legs dangling over the edge. He knows falling won't kill him, so he does the best next thing. He makes a knife appeared. He felt drain he wants to feel alive. He places the knife on his wrist, hesitantly. He moves the knife up the arm, slightly above the inner elbow. He breathes in deeply. With a slight tremble, he pierced the skin. A hiss escaped his lips then breathe deeply as he continues down to the inner elbow. He watched as a small red river pour out. A smile slides across his face as a new feeling is there. He wants to do it again but the idea of the others finding out scares him.

The red river stops and he glitches out of the snow globe. He walks to the bathroom and warps up the cut. He changes his shirt to 3/4 sleeve shirt. The next morning, he watches carefully to everyone that interacts with him. Noticing that no one saw the different sleeve length. The rest of the day is like any other day. He gave it one more day before he glitched back into the electric snow globe. The wound was healing nicely but he wanted to feel it again. With a deep breath and a quick hiss, a small red river started flowing down.

He didn't wait a day to cut again. He doesn't wait for the cuts to heal before reopening them. He does this daily. He wants to move down the arm but its summer. The others will know. Maybe they will care. Maybe it's what he needs. With a deep breath, he slices the skin slightly above the wrist. Moving the knife towards him, making a beautiful red river. When the red river stops, he glitches out of the electric snow globe and goes to the bathroom. There he dresses up the wound and replaces his current shirt for a long sleeve one.

The next day he watches the others reactions carefully. No one notices him for wearing a long sleeve shirt. Pretty much no one notices him. Now he fully doesn't care about the others. He slowly stops eating with the others. Slowly he stops coming out of his room. Doesn't even leave the electric snow globe. He no longer hisses the cut nor breathes deeply. He cuts from where the first cut started to where the last cut ends. It keeps his smile on his face, always seeing red. His breathing isn't coming back as he slowly closes his eyes. His breathing stops and so does his heart.

A few days pass, he blinks confusedly as he realizes that he is in his room. Panic set in as he takes off his shirt. He can barely see the scar that the red river flows out.

"Fuck!" he said angrily as he puts his shirt back on. He walks out of his room and to the kitchen. Grabs a bottle of whiskey and starts drowning it.

"Where have you been?" ask a familiar voice.

He turns around to see at least two others.

"Bar hopping." he says dryly.

The others accepted the answer and walked away.

(Fuck... I can't die till he does...)

He looks at the others in the living room. With a heavy sigh and taking the whiskey, he joins them. He can cut himself later. The only true feeling he's going to feel.


End file.
